A Series of Unfortunate Events.....

I do not court adversity, nor do I shy from it, however if the situation arises, I, like George and the Dragon, face my adversity head on and deal with it. And so it was yesterday evening when, alone, I took Max and Millie out for their evening walk around the cemetery and recreation ground as Mr McEllis Snr was going to be late home from work (he's working way too hard in my honest opinion!!!). We departed the home with my head filled with "I'll bloody well show him!" thoughts.....oh how stupid can one man be?!

It occurred to me that, being alone, it may well be the perfect time to test both me and Millie and let her off. 

So I did.

It did not go 100% to plan.

Taking my inspiration from Lemony Snicket, it was indeed like a series of unfortunate events that took place one after the other.

They were recorded for posterity and here they are for your visual and aural delectation (You will need your sound turned up so that you can hear my "commentary").

Butter wouldn't melt......!

Event No. 1

The first time I have ever let her off.....trepidation, nervous and quite literally worried sick that she is going to pelt off into the sunset leaving me standing there with two leads, one tennis ball and no dogs, which of course she bloody well did. And as you can witness, Max went with her, the little deserter!!!

Event No. 2

Number 2....no pun intended...! 

Enough said!

Event No. 3

Why do I do it to myself? 

The previous two videos have already clearly shown that I am not enjoying myself and I would find it so much easier on both my heart and head to just put her back on her lead. But no, I try AGAIN! This time, she pelts off towards the hedge which hides a main road and, as I can hear her bark, I am truly worried that she's going to get herself into mischief....

Event No. 4

The Recreation Ground. 

No dogs.
No people. 

I feel safer.

Let's see if she comes back when I call her.

Needless to say I got home rather knackered and in need of a stiff drink.....and a big hug!

Tonight we took them out as usual and things did not go well. At. All.


Millie was let off in the cemetery and almost immediately, like a News of The World journalist eyeing up a list of mobile phone numbers, she saw her chance and she took it! A fox in the distance caught her hunting eye and she was off like a small, black, furry exocet missile. Some time later, after much shouting of her name and me going mad with worry, we got her back. She even ignored Dad No. 1 when he called her (oh how my inner child gloated at this *snigger*). She was given the "you've been very naughty" look, immediately put back on her lead and there she stayed until we got home. She has been acting sheepish ever since!

Naughty, naughty, very, very naughty!

At this point I really should point out how patient my Husband is being (although I am most certainly not admitting that he is right by letting her off, oh no!). He could very easily have 'lost it' with me this evening, but he didn't. He let me have my 'eppy fit' and once I had calmed down, things went back to normal and I resumed a relaxed persona *phew*...

This chapter's music is inspired by the simple fact that I would really like a dog that did as she was bloody well told.

I. Want. To. Get. Down.

You will be pleased to know that Maximillian now smells like a bunch of roses and not the arse-end of a skanky fox!