We Shouldn't Be Here....!

We weren't supposed to be here this Bank Holiday, we were supposed to be in the West Country, we were supposed to be visiting our friends Bunty and Lord Shaldon, we weren't supposed to be in (wet, rainy!) London. However, the Gods and Goddesses conspired against us and for one reason and another, we could not and did not go.....

Tis raining outside....

It is also the first August Bank Holiday in, I think, something like FIVE years (basically, since Jemima was born!!!) that we have not visited our God Children in Cornwall and to make us feel really guilty, our beautiful God Daughter Jemima, did some baking and shared the excellent results with us via the medium of a picture text. I bet it was even more delicious than it looks - Well Done Jemima! Uncle Splodge (for that is I!!!) wishes he could have tasted it (he also misses you a great deal, as does Uncle Evil and we hope to see you and Ferdi soon - BIG cuddles are in order!).

Jemima Jane laying on the guilt!

Me and He decided that, as we were now going to be at home for the Bank Holiday, we'd have a quiet one, a relaxing one, an unplanned one.........some plans are doomed to fail! It has ended up being a relatively busy weekend, all be it a rather lovely one too. We've had excellent quality time with the pups, taking them for long walks, breakfast in the local cafe, lots of play time, visiting garden centres (we're off again in a minute!), visitors and as usual, way too may photographs (yes, yes, I am still addicted!!!).

Poser McEllis!

This morning we decided to take the pups on a walk through Brockley to the Cemetery, which is HUGE and enjoy a late Summer/early Autumn walk through the trees, long grass and tombstones - it was surprisingly lovely. Personally, I've always found cemeteries to be places of relaxation, contemplation, generally very peaceful places to escape the stresses and pressures of everyday life. I like cemeteries......and let's not forget the amount of bird/animal life you can spot if you're patient enough.

My (bonkers!) Family

We've been meaning to explore Brockley Cemetery more ever since we visited a few months ago. It is enormous, a place you can enter, get lost in, a child's dream for excellent hide-and-seek games. It's a marvellous place. In comparison to 'our cemetery' it feels as though Brockley has been super-sized, everything about it is bigger - the gravestones are massive, ornate and more art than memorial. We will be returning in the very near future to further explore this fantastic space.

Fear not, they are not standing on a gravestone!

From the cemetery, we took a detour up and on to a huge hill (I think it's Hilly Fields) for a wander. The views are lovely - I always enjoy hills in London, you can see so many landmarks. I often forget we're in London with us living in relative verdant suburbia and seeing The Eye or The Shard for example, brings you back to reality and reminds you just where you are....

Taking a break on Hilly Fields

After Hilly Fields it was back down the hill to Brockley, not one of the prettier areas of London, but the surrounding area is very nice, leafy and there's lots of green space. We sauntered past the very cemetery we had just been wandering around, past parents with their children eagerly picking the ripe blackberries. As you leave Brockley, on the Crofton Park border, there is a gorgeous building called the Rivoli Ballroom. Inside it is a wonderland of red velvet gold-framed walls, Austrian crystal chandeliers and over-sized Chinese lanterns. It is the only intact 1950s ballroom in London - and a well kept secret (until now!). 

Not much from the outside!

Once in Crofton Park it is literally a 10 minute walk and we're home. The area is choc-full of history and you could truly spend all day just wandering around discovering secrets, hidden treasures and the London you only hear/read about in books.....I had better stop before my other half thinks I like London...(I almost do, just don't tell him!).

Max needs a breather....

As mentioned above, we received visitors. Not just any visitors.....Essex Girls!!!!! Sharon and Jo (and their vagazzles) arrived yesterday afternoon for an impromptu cuppa and a catch up chat, after having moved to Essex many months ago. As is his way, Maximillian spent the first 10 minutes of their visit barking at them (with tail in full wag!), followed by the rest of the visit wanting to do nothing but play with his ball. Millie on the other hand really took to Jo and was completely contented and happy just to sit on her knee and be stroked!

Lovely Laydeez!

I am not a religious person by any means, I have no faith unless you count the album by George Michael of the same name. I am devoid of christianity, judaism, buddhism, etc, etc. I am barren to the world of the faithful believers. But, my gorgeous Grandma did have a faith and she is almost always in my head, still guiding me and my decisions. Indeed, whenever I go somewhere and there's a church/cathedral I always, ALWAYS light a candle for her, in her memory, to let her know I have not forgotten her and will not forget her (she would have LOVED Max and Millie!!!!!!). 

My fantastic Grandma!

I say this because yesterday was my wonderful Mother in Law's birthday and she would have been 74 - we raised a glass or two in her memory. It's only been 7 months since she died but the gaping hole is still there and I doubt it will ever change, she was such a force of nature. As silly and almost pointless as this might sound, all I wanted to do was rush off to a church and light a candle, just so that she knew I hadn't forgotten her and never will.

Happy Birthday Mum xxx

The music for this chapter has no special relevance to anything, nothing at all, no one. It has been chosen because, for want of a better reason (of which there is not), I absolutely love it. It makes me bop, shake my booty, want to sing into a hairbrush while standing in front of a mirror.....it uplifts me and there can be no better reason than that!

Enjoy......sing it Miss Goldfrapp!

Smile, you're on camera!

My name is John Denton McKenna and I am an addict. 

I freely admit it. 

I am obsessed. 

I have a new love in my life and it's name is Instagram. 

For those of you with an iPhone/iPad/iPod, you will no doubt be aware of this photographic application. You can apply various filters to photographs, giving them either a modern twist or a retro feel. It's truly rather good fun and I am constantly 'pointing and clicking'. There have been numerous 'victims' of my new found addiction, but mostly it's been either the garden or the dogs.

The Instagram App

Maximillian is a natural muse and quite happy to have his picture taken, I swear on occasion he has actually posed! Millie is not so accommodating, preferring to shy away, turn her head and point blank refuse to be 'shot'. Never fear, I am a patient artiste and grab my chances either when she's asleep or there's food around....she's easy to bribe is our Millie! Needless to say, there are far and away more shots of Max than there are of Millie....

My Muse...

Along with Instagram, I have also found two other apps that you can use to give your pictures an alternative look. One is Percolator and the other is Toonpaint. Percolator enables you to transform your photographs into multicolour mosaics, it's an amazing tool, very clever indeed and I really, really like it. As an example., the picture above of Max has been 'percolated' below:

Percolator App

Toonpaint does what it says on the tin. It enables you to turn your pictures into 'cartoon paintings' and very effective it is too! It doesn't have as much 'wow factor' for me as the Percolator app, but it still produces nice results, however from using it I would say that the sharper and simpler the original picture is, the better otherwise it just looks 'messy'. Again, as an example you can see the difference from the original picture above to the picture below:

Toon Max

Taking pictures of the garden/dogs (as well as writing this blog) has helped me enormously recently from going abso-frigging-lutely bonkers. They're a welcome escape from the stress that is work and all the fuckery that goes with it. I'm honestly not enjoying it at the moment and I am, on a daily basis, experiencing butterflies, headaches, anxiety attacks and all that jazz. And the nightmares, oh the nightmares. Couple this with not sleeping and you have me, a man on the edge of a stress related incident! My head constantly feels like it's going to explode and I am struggling to keep it bottled up. Powder keg and match spring to mind.....

Insomnia

On a much nicer note, my handsome, wonderful Husband has gone and got himself a new tattoo. We've been discussing getting more tattoos for some time (my new one is still in the planning stages) and he's only gone and done it. It's a work in progress, requiring at least another 2 or 3 hours of 'filling in'. It is inspired by tree ferns in a maori/polynesian/tribal kind-a-way. Anyway, I absolutely love it and believe you me, his 'loving quota' has just shot through the roof *grin*

Work in progress

Due to the warmth and wet that we have been experiencing lately, the garden has been growing and growing and growing. The dahlias have put on a particularly good show this year - we have one that is chocolate-scented, very delicate but coupled with it's deep red, almost black petals, it is just gorgeous. The gingers are all about to pop into flower and I cannot wait...I'm at the ready with my Instagram app for the moment to arrive...!

Me and my Boy in the garden

The hens continue to live a life of Chicken Luxury in SE23. The time of year has arrived where they can now enjoy a free range ramble through the garden, enjoying any tasty treats they may come across.....snails are a particular favourite for our Girls. They climb into the borders, scratching here, there and everywhere, fertilising as they go. Sometimes, with them all out and deep undercover in the borders, you can walk around the garden and not know that there are chickens living here. They are truly Happy Hens......and you can read more about them here - http://hensinthecity.blogspot.com 

The Girls

In other, dog-related news, my lovely friend and colleague Barbara aka Sparkles and her husband John have had a new arrival recently. They already have a little Bichon Frise called Honey who is a darling of a dog. However, they have, in the last couple of weeks, homed a new puppy, called Poppy........she be very cute and we cannot wait to meet her!!!!

Little Poppy and Honey

This chapter's music, in my opinion, captures my current obsession perfectly......

One Year of Daddy Love.....

Today, 16th August 2011 marks Millicent Hermione Oprah's first year living with Maximillian, The Girls and her Dads.

Millie-Moo, we love you!

The music is inspired by the fact that Millie is a right little bum wiggler and this track just makes me shake my booty.....I. Cannot. Help. Myself.

Of Dogs and Men

Today, 2 years ago, Mr Ellis and I got hitched. It’s almost unbelievable that 2 years have already passed us by. It seems to go so quickly – getting older sure does make you realise how little time you have in which to do so much. Although it has only been 2 years, John and I have been together for 9 years in November, and it is this anniversary, as opposed to the Civil Partnership, that I recognise more. The CP was, for me, a ‘rubber stamp’ on our already wonderful, happy, slightly bonkers relationship and the ensuing party at Chestnut Lodge in Cobham rounded it all off very nicely indeed. And WHAT a party!

The Grooms and our gorgeous Best Women

People warned me before the day that I should try to remember to take it all in as it would fly by and be gone in a flash. They were right. It was! I honestly don’t remember half of it and looking at the photographs it makes me realise just how little I don’t remember!!!! I’d love to do it all again…perhaps a 10 year anniversary bash should be considered….. :-)

The BIG Day!

So here we are, today is our 2^nd Civil Partnership Anniversary and I’m updating the ‘dog blog’. If you had told me on my ‘wedding day’ that I would have 2 dogs within a year of getting married I would never have believed you. Of course, as seems to be the norm in our house, I owe it to my Husband, my man, my fella, the absolute Love of My Life, Mr John Arthur Ellis (What exactly do I do for him?!?!?!?!?!!). He stood fast that getting dogs was the right thing to do, I of course um’d and ar’d, I gave reasons why we shouldn’t, we couldn’t, I wouldn’t, etc and still we got them.

Max the Puppy (not much bigger now!!!!)

In November the pups will both be 2 years old and again, I can’t believe how quickly that time has shot past. Max still looks like a little puppy to me, my little man, my faithful companion, my first born and what a little Star he is. J’adore Maximillian Sydney Bruiser McEllis with all my heart! 

Me and my Boy

Yes, there are days when I would really like to hand him back to Aunty Kay, but I cannot, will not and never will be without him, he is one of my ‘Kids’, most definitely a child substitute! He’s spoilt rotten, gets away with murder and generally behaves like a spoilt brat…….and I don’t care. We rescued him and I promised myself that he (and Millie when she arrived) would have a wonderful life…..and a wonderful life they DO have!

The Boys in Cornwall

On Tuesday Millie celebrates her 1^st anniversary living here with us in McEllis Towers. It has, for want of a better expression, been a roller coaster ride with her. She came to us as a stray, having been running wild in the streets of London, scared, hungry and very insecure. The dog we rescued a year ago is nothing compared to the confident, happy, playful Millie we have now. 

Millie as a stray

Of course, as you have seen, she still has some issues to work through and recent events have set us back a little, but for the most part she is absolutely perfect. She is a very gentle, loving little dog, her bum wiggles like crazy when she’s happy and she’s always up for curling up in a blanket and having a cuddle with her Dads – sleeping is her favourite pastime! When her and Max play it fills my heart with joy and both me and the Hubby have huge smiles on our faces – our ‘Kids’ are happy……we’re doing the right thing.

Millie today

Wedded bliss really is just that, it really is. Yes, there are days when, quite frankly, I could throttle him and I’m sure he feels exactly the same, however I am more than very happy, it’s a struggle to find the right words to quantify my happiness sometimes. I have a Husband that I truly love and adore, 2 wonderful dogs, 4 naughty but lovely hens and a life that, all things considered, isn’t bad at all. Being the insecure, neurotic idiot that I am sometimes, (you probably haven’t noticed) I would never have asked him to marry me, being too afraid that he would have said ‘No’ and I would have been crushed…….I’m so glad he asked me….’No’ was never an option :-)

Us and our fantastic God Children, Jemima & Ferdi

This chapter’s music is not only performed by one of the best groups EVER, it is also featured in one of my favourite films of all time, Muriel's Wedding......I think the song says it all.....I'm off to sexually abuse my Husband....because I can....he's my Husband :-)))

I Love You

xxxxxxxxxx

Run, Forrest, Run!

They do say that it has to get worse before it gets better, and believe me, it couldn't have got much worse than it did the evening after I posted the previous chapter! After the night before, I decided that I needed a 'night off' from walking the Hounds from Hell and so Hubby took them both out on his own. I wasn't particularly up for being present while Millie was let off again.....My name is John McKenna and I am a big chicken!

The Kids enjoy the sunshine

Twenty minutes after they leave I hear an awful kerfuffle at the front door, much banging and scratching was taking place. I went to the front door and through the glass panes I can see no one, but still the noise carries on. I open the door. 

Millie......JUST Millie! On her own. No Husband. No Max. No Lead.

She gallops past me and shoots down to the bedroom and hides under the bed. She looks terrible. Scared. Petrified. She has a tiny scuff mark with fur missing on one of her back legs. And let's not forget that she is ALONE! How on earth she managed to cross the busy main road at the end of our street without being run over is beyond me, but she did. Thinking the worst just makes me well up, knowing that we could very well have lost her.

Mischief un-managed!

The incredible thing about all this is that she came HOME....she knows exactly where she lives and she came straight back...for that I am forever thankful!!! I dread to think what she would have done or where she would have gone if the garden gate had been closed....

Where's Millie, Dad?

I gathered her up and gave her the biggest cuddle, talked gently to her and told her everything was ok, that she was alright, that she was home now. Then I realised that Hubby would still be out there looking for her with Maximillian. Rather than leave her in the house I decided to harness her up on the spare lead and take her back out to find the others. She wasn't particularly pleased to be back outside but I figured that 'when you fall off your bike, you get back on' sort of thing. 

You're talking about me again.....aren't you???

We met Hubby and Max walking down our road and Millie was very pleased to see him, even if he gave her the 'I am soooo pissed off with you' look. We took the 'Kids' home, they got lots of cuddles that night and Millie has not been off the lead since. If I have my way (which is rare!!!!) she won't be off it any time soon either!!!!!!!! So........progress??? WHAT f-ing progress??? I've got a feeling that Millie's training is going to be like painting the Forth Bridge, you'll never get to the end....

Spoilt. Rotten.

And what of His Madness Maximillian Sydney Bruiser McEllis I hear you ask?!?! Well, our little fella is all fine and dandy. Actually, he would have made a very good Dandy, what with his Little Lord Fauntleroy tail and his charming yet slightly camp demeanour. He is still, and I hope always will be, ever so slightly bonkers, always up for play time and just the most lovely little dog....at least we can thank Aunty Kay for getting it right one dog out of two!

My perfect, if ever so slightly dysfunctional Family!

As I type this, my Husband is making 'Old Dowerhouse Chutney'.......our home is filled with the scent of apples, plums, onions, tomatoes, ginger, chilli, sultanas all being boiled up in malt vinegar - strangely evocative and ever so slightly pungent (Although, it's better than sniffing a damp dog smothered in fox shit and as you know, we've been there!). 

The results, served with cold cuts around Christmas time should be flipping delicious......I believe Courgette Pickle is next on the list. I wonder if I can get him to make Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream too????????

Old Dowerhouse Chutney - serve with cold cuts (As Delia would say!)

This chapter's music is from the mighty Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds........O Children indeed. This track makes me cry, it's simple yet epic and loaded with emotion.


I've just realised that in 10 days time (August 16th) Millie will have been with us exactly one year....how time flies when you're having 'fun'.!.!.!.! In fact, it would appear to be all about Millie at the moment.......methinks Max needs some 'big upping' next....!

Little Lord Fauntleroy!!!